September 11, 2010
4. I learned of the FBI’s plan to assassinate the president and went on a mission to stop them. I forgot my homework at the White House.
5. Arnold Shwarttsanegger invited me to his mansion for a party and my homework, all problems done, was thrown away by one of his crazy friends who was hopped up on cheesecake.
6. I forgot it on Mars. Don’t ask.
September 2, 2010
1. A ninja attacked my house to steal my homework, but I unleashed my pet crocodile Leroy on him and in the middle of the battle an alien pick-pocketed me and stole my homework that I had already finished.
2. I was running for my life from Gerald the sumo wrestler who wanted to cheat off me and I fell into a gigantic barbecue grill and almost died. Unfortunately, my homework was incinerated.
3. An army of carnivorous monkeys parachuted onto my house and broke all the windows in order to eat me. They succeeded.
August 12, 2010
Ok, so I got back from a big month long vacation a few days ago. I had fun. My family and I stayed in Bar Harbor, an area in Maine. The local’s accent was very funny. The clerk at a hotel: “Awe you enjoying youa stay in Baaa Haaabaaa?” Seriously. No Rs. The lady shot me a dirty look after I snorted. Also, there was one beach very close to Canada where my family was the only one on the beach. Another time we passed a Canadian kid talking French, wearing a shirt with a big American flag and German flags on the socks. He was also wearing a ninja costume. I think he was internationally confused. Then another time, my family went for a hike around huge rocks and steep cliffs and it was a tough trail to climb and took us four hours. My vacation was a great break from reality.
July 23, 2010
School will be here in less than a month, and then we’ll all be seventh graders. We won’t be the big jerks that last year’s class was, though. Remember, the “Get out of my way, you stupid sixth grade midget.” I just am hoping that we aren’t mean and we’ll give Mr. Nalow a break. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t be a jerk to smaller kids, because you were one once too.
July 23, 2010
The other day my awesome uncle took me to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Every amazing baseball player of all time is on a plaque in its player gallery. It was a great experience. I saw the World Series Rings and Curt Shilling’s bloody sock (see The World’s Greatest Team). I tracked down my favorite Red Sox player, Ted Williams. I completely used up my disposable camera in the first hour. I had a lot of fun and nearly drowned my uncle in Thank yous. I would recommend the Hall to anyone who lives, breathes, and eats baseball. And someone who likes to have a lot of fun.
July 23, 2010
Right now I am in Binghamton, New York. I am visiting my grandmother, and I have been since the first of July. My grandmother does not have a computer, so that is why I have not posted for a month. My dad just flew in to join us, and he brought his work computer, which is what I am using to write this. So far I’ve had fun. I went to a waterpark. That was cool. There was a ride where you went super fast is pitch darkness for two minutes. Not even my 16 year old cousin would go on that one, but I did. There was another ride where you went down a tube that dumped into a giant bowl, where you spun around and then fell into a pool. That was my favorite. I also visited my cousins, one of which is three and is obsessed with Buzz Lightyear. He call me Zurg and began to whack me with a plastic action figure of, you guessed it, Buzz Lightyear. Not exactly the best part of my vacation, but I’m having fun so far.
June 21, 2010
Over the last few days, I have been watching the Fifa world cup. It is amazing. Some of these soccer players work magic with the ball. I watched the opening game, England versus U.S.A. It was a great game that ended one-one. The English goalie completely had the ball roll up his hands, bounce off his chest, and roll into the goal. There goes his career. Without that mistake, England would of won. The US also had another tie later, so they are staying alive. One loss and your chances of the giant win go poof, and they’re gone. I like how the Fifa mixes cultures from all around the world. Soccer really is a great game.